I have the craziest dreams. If only I could record them so I could play them back for everyone to gasp at. The latest insanity during my sleep was marrying George W. Bush. I’m not kidding. I woke up in tears, literally sobbing and looking at my husband and asking him why he didn’t step in and stop that. Here is the dream:
My real husband and I were traveling to Texas via the swamps and bayous of Louisiana. We had to dodge swamp gas, swamp flames and alligators. We made it out into the gulf only to be capsized and our boat obliterated. For some reason I knew of a place under water where they kept a submarine, so we swam underwater and made it into the sub. Swimming underwater dodging the oil spill and pissed off dolphins. One of the dolphins tried to blame me for the spill and I had to have a conversation with him to explain that it was our screwed up government up here on the dry part that enabled it and that I had nothing to do with it and I was just trying to swim to safety, would the dolphin help us? So my real husband and I caught hold of the dolphins fin and it took us to the sub. WTF? right? But it doesn’t end there… in the sub there were these crazy totalitarians that put my husband in a cell and took me to the captain.
This captain called GWB on the phone and told him that he captured me. Next thing I know I’m at the Alamo (the freaking Alamo!) preparing to marry him. I’m on a balcony talking with my real husband begging him to protect me from these monsters, but he looks the other way as I see how badly they’ve beaten him. Then I’m standing at the alter and GWB prepares to put the ring on my finger but I haven’t taken off my real wedding ring and I struggle to take it off and handed it to my mother. Then I woke up sobbing with my cat and my husband looking over me asking me what could be so troubling in my dream. I said that he made me marry George Bush and he had a good laugh.
Dreams are insane. Dreams are monkey brains after they’ve been stung by a scorpion. In ode to my dreams, here are some images I made with my dreams as inspiration. I hope I’m not the only one who has crazy dreams.