Empty your Bladder and Don’t be Late!

Being late for a model assignment is a major No-No!

It’s inconsiderate to leave a class full of students who are ready to paint, draw, sculpt and for the teacher who is ready to give instruction. In photography, especially when the photographer has paid for the studio – perhaps a makeup artist – time is ticking and money is being wasted. But sometimes you cannot help being late. There’s all sorts of reasons for lateness; trouble with modes of transportation, caught in traffic, weather or perhaps you’re feeling ill and need a slower start to your day.

I’m writing this entry, I dunno, I guess as a way of confession for I was late for my session and felt so damn guilty about it!

Unfinished work by: Ricardo Fleuraguste

(www.ricardofleuraguste.com)

Class starts at 6:30pm, I finish work at 5 and it usually takes, give or take, a half hour to 45 minutes from the office to the school. But on this particular day at 3:55pm I was given a report that I had to edit, proofread and pdf for delivery to the client the next day. I successfully got the report done, called the school to deliver a message to the teacher to let them know I’m going to be late – “just hang in there, I’m comin'” and made a mad dash from the office to get to class.

Now this particular teacher I’ve worked with him before and I don’t know somehow I got my assignments mixed up (I had a few on the go) cause usually I’m clothed for his portrait sessions and I took great care to remember what I was wearing in his last session because we were to continue the work. I was wearing a long black skirt, a turtle neck top, a royal purple patterned pajmina, my hair in a french twist and my silver hooped earrings.

I got to the school, ran up three flights of stairs and busted through the door apologizing profusely for my tardiness, leaped on to the podium, sat in the chair and resumed my pose. There was dead silence in the room for about 30 seconds, while the students stared blankly at me and then at their canvass when the teacher says, “Um…Susannah, that’s not what we were doing?”

“Huh? Really?” The students start to giggle. “What’s wrong?” as I adjusted my position in the chair thinking I got the pose wrong.

A student pipes up and says, “No that’s not it. You need to take off your clothes.” Seeing the shocked look on my face, the other students start to laugh. He quickly adds “You look great and I’m not coming on to you but you were really in the nude.” He turns his canvass around to show me his half done painting. Feeling a little silly – that’s never happened to me before – I laugh at my mistake, got off the podium and quickly disrobed behind a screen in the corner of the classroom, hopped back on the podium and resumed my pose.

Don’t be late!  Lesson learned – but not really…

Just last week, I found myself late again because of work but this time my gig was not at the Ottawa School of Art but at the Shenkman Art center in Orleans. It’s the first day of summer and we experienced our first heat wave. 32 degrees with the humidex making it 41 degrees. Now everyone knows the key to surviving any heat wave is keeping yourself hydrated. I felt my heart beating unusually fast as I raced to class. Gee whiz, I hope I’m not going to pass out! I stop at a convenient store and buy a liter of water and downed the whole bottle by the time I get to my gig.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the phone number to the model coordinator at the Art Center so I couldn’t call ahead of time to let them know I was going to be late. As burst through the door, I see the teacher sitting on the edge of the podium sitting patiently waiting for me, all the students behind their easel sitting there bored since it’s round two in the session, there’s no instruction they were to just set up and continue their work. Apologizing profusely again for my tardiness I resume my pose.

Artist using paint brushes as chop sticks – neat!

About 30 minutes into the session I start to feel my bladder getting heavy and full because of all the water I drank. Already feeling bad for being 15 minutes late, I’m determined to wait until the break to relieve myself in the bathroom. Can I make it? Just another half hour to go. My eyes keep shifting to the clock as the count down begins. My lower belly is expanding, full of urine (or just water) and I’m squeezing every muscle “down there” to keep the floodgate locked instead of watering my chair. Thank God my legs are crossed but I can’t keep it in any longer. Oh F@#* it!! I break my pose, address the students apologizing again – “I really have to go pee – I’m SO sorry!!” And I made a mad dash to the washroom.

Moral of the story?

1) Don’t be late! At the time of booking always ask for a contact number should in case you do find yourself late. Call if you are late.

2) Empty your bladder before you start to pose!

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2 Responses to Empty your Bladder and Don’t be Late!

  1. A question for all models:
    Do you think it’s necessary to put on a robe for the breaks between 20-min sessions?
    It makes no difference to me but I don’t want to make the artists uncomfortable.

    • yes it is necessary. I was about to write a blog article about this and since you’ve asked the question for sure I will do this blog next. Again, yes, it is necessary. When we do a sitting, it’s for the art – it’s not a peep show. For more reasons, keep a look out for my next blog story. Thanks for the good question Mike!

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