studiofey

what will the world give me

in return for my flesh,

my youth, hope, clarity,

for the light that now filters

through older eyes

that question,

doubt,

see.

and before the answer came 

her eyes shone wet,

glistening

with the pain and freedom

of knowing

it mattered not.

her heart was not made to be closed

and so,

it broke open.

the daughter of a songwriter and a kindergarten teacher, i’ve always been a storyteller with a unique, optimistic view of other people. my camera is now my pen. through my photography i am able to show what cannot be explained- a sensual, pure, and beautiful view of all that lies within us. and i bring to every picture my own vulnerability and willingness to see the truth. and, so i create portraits. i capture glimpses of what lies underneath the glitter of our glamour. when i take a picture of someone i am only trying to see one thing- who they are when they allow themselves to be seen. and through each of them, i find myself.

some of the hottest moments in life happen before the actual event…are you with me on this one? i mean, we have all heard of foreplay…some of us even engage in it.  but, sensuality preludes even the foreplay.  sensuality is a stolen thought, the accidental brush of jeans, and a quiet confidence that says i could make you mine if i wanted to.  sometimes to truly capture that kind of heat you need to have two people in a photo shoot…add some chemistry…and…well, you see what i mean.  

so, i went to an erotica exhibit at a pretty cool gallery downtown last night.  i was all excited to be inspired and see some really avant-garde stuff.  but when did simply including male and female genetalia constitute a piece of art as erotic?  i mean, is that the most erotic thing you can think of?  seems a bit obvious to me, not to mention it seriously lacks imagination.   if the point of erotica is to arouse sexual pleasure (which is my understanding of the word) then they seriously missed the mark with my group.  we pretty much giggled our way through most of the exhibit. so, i am extending a challenge to myself to produce some erotica for an exhibit sometime in the future (which is a vague timeline on purpose…welcome to my world).  i am determined to produce images that are capable of arousing feelings of desire through a female perspective.  in this body of work it seems subtlety is seriously under-rated.  sometimes, the right person touching your neck for the first time can be one of the more erotic moments in your life.  the challenge is how i capture that kind of simple intensity with a camera.  consider the gauntlet laid.   

women are so multi-faceted today, some days it’s tough to remember who you are without getting dizzy.  i still remember the day my daughter was born…when i became a mom and added a new role and new depth to my already complex life.  it was a time of such innocence…when the image of happily ever after breathes warm on our neck as we cuddle our new baby and gaze up at our loving partner.  and i remember too, the day when the clear light of the sun broke through the haze of mommy-hood and reminded me that i am still someone separate from my children; i am still kim.  i’m still the girl who smoked cigarettes on the roof outside my childhood room on cool summer nights.  i’m still the woman who wrote songs and poetry and sang her heart out on stage.  i’m still a wanderer, who constantly longs for the day to be somehow brighter than the wonderful one before.  and so are we all.  we are carefree and responsible, joyful and wise, sensual and nurturing.  there is a reason i don’t photograph 18 year old models.  to me, they simply are not as beautiful.  beauty comes from a place of knowing and embracing who you are, who you were, and who you are becoming.  so, when you gaze at my images and the sexy creatures who grace it, remember that these are complex women.  most of them are moms.  and, as with all of life’s graces and challenges, in my eyes that makes them even more beautiful.